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The Dichotomy of Control: Making My World Smaller

Written by: Noah Learner Tags: critical thinking, newsletter

Published: Sep 22, 2025  |  Last Updated: Oct 6, 2025

"You’ll never catalog every drop of water in the sea or wrest control from tempests, so don’t be distracted by the endless mysteries and terrors of the abyss. Instead, focus on the simple, vital task of rowing your boat." — Phil Van Treuren

To put it mildly, there is a lot going on right now.

There has never been more pressure on the industry where things are changing so fast, pros and businesses are not able to catch up before the next wave arrives.

And that's not even mentioning what's happening outside of work in the US, and around the world, and in our personal lives, and in the lives of people we care about...

It's enough to drive you crazy, if you let it 

I don't need to cite the many studies (or Dolly) that show pressures in our personal lives, traumatic events, and stress (regardless of source), can completely wipe out our ability to focus and be productive in our "9 to 5"s.

Phil Van Treuren is a modern day stoicist. His quote at the beginning of this article echoes many from the ancient stoicist Epictetus; who became known for encouraging individuals to focus on what they truly have influence over.

"It is not in our control to have everything turn out exactly as we want, but it is in our control to control how we respond to what happens." — Epictetus

The dichotomy of control

As a slave, there was actually very little that Epictetus had control over, but he did control a vast world – himself.

"The more you seek to control external events, the less control you will have over your own life."

I'm not saying to stop looking around you or stop being affected by the world, or to stop advocating for what you believe in. Asking ourselves what is truly important right now and what we are willing to do for it, is more important than ever. (see also: Serenity Prayer)

What I do want to point out though, is that focusing too much on the infinite things we can't control, siphons energy from the few things we actually do: Our very next thought, emotion, and action.

According to Epictetus this understanding is central to a happy life: Accepting what is not in our power can actually make us more powerful ourselves.

What can you control right now?

1. How, how often, and with whom you communicate. A little more patience, a little more context, a little more checking in, a little more kindness and gratitude – we can all use it right now.
   
   
2. This includes you. Are you noticing when you're not being fair or kind to yourself? Stop yourself, intentionally, and flip the script. You are doing the best you can with the knowledge you have right now. You're not behind – you're likely right on time.
   
   
3. Connect with others. I'm wicked stoked to see some old friends this week. The best antidote for feeling isolated is remembering that we're all experiencing similar situations and can validate and learn from one another, and laugh a bit in the process.
   
   
4. Being a net positive in the world. As we travel this fall, we'll be navigating airports, crowds, and our own confidence as we ask ourselves, "do I belong here?" Bring mindfulness to these everyday interactions, and they will help grease the wheels for less overall stress.
   
   
5. Framing is everything. This run of fall conferences is going to be all about AI, brand authority, and digital PR. It's easy to get deer-in-the-headlights about all of the new tactics, theories, tests, and best practices that come at us like a firehose at these events.

Take it all home and turn overwhelm into inspiration: I'm equally blown away by the new innovations y'all are already coming up with, as I am nervous about the future.

I can choose to frame it as "how am I going to do all this," or, "there's so much I can choose from to do next".

Curious what to do next? Join the community and get some ideas, and please share yours. We're all learning together.